


What year is it?

by ToughPaperRound



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 2020 US Presidential Election, 2020 mood, 911CrackWeek2020, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, US Politics - Freeform, but this is light-hearted honest, seriously - it's a serious trigger warning for many now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound
Summary: The 118 assesses a patient for head trauma.Hopefully this fic will be out of date even before I share it for911CrackWeek2020(end Nov '20), for the prompt 'Breaking the 4th wall'.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	What year is it?

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up! If you are avoiding discussions of 2020 in general, or of the US political system in particular, then this fic is not for you! Rush away and try something else [like this Crack Rec List](https://toughpaperround.tumblr.com/post/634963505195401216/buddie-crack-fics/) instead.
> 
> This fic was inspired by the 9-1-1 scene from 2x09 (giffed [here](https://snowluthor.tumblr.com/post/179579297813/hell-be-fine/)), in which Chim assesses a patient for head trauma by asking the usual basic questions to see if they're aware of what's going on.
> 
> I'm a Brit and I researched for this using Stephen [Colbert](https://youtu.be/q8swPgYvaiY/) and a wiki page. I am not available for further discussion on the matters raised herein. Neither here nor on Tumblr.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"Hello, yes my daddy fell down and banged his head, I think he needs a grown-up to help him."

"Ah, I see, that's good that you called here then. Stay on the line, though, can you do that? Now first can you tell me what is your address there?"

"Yes it's 2020 Lincoln Avenue. Will someone come and help my daddy?"

"Yes, they surely will and very soon. What's your name, honey?"

"My daddy says I haven't to tell my name to strangers."

"Okay. Quite right."

\---

"Okay masks on, everyone. Buck, take care of the little one in the house, and find out if there are any other children present."

"Aye aye, Cap!"

"Hen and Chim, you're up." 

"He's right in here, Cap!"

"Minor blood loss, respiration normal, pupils reacting normally."

"Pulse is good. Looks like a nasty wrist injury here though."

"Arggh!"

"Sir, we'll immobilise that right away. Try not to move anything in the meantime, yes?"

"Nnngh."

"Sir, did you bang your head when you fell from this ladder?"

"Only a little."

"What's your name?"

"Mitchell Webb. Where's my son?"

"Mitchell, your son is right there in the kitchen with one of our finest. He's been very calm throughout this and he's doing great."

"Good. Good. Thank you."

"Mitchell, can you tell me... what year is it?"

"Gah, 2020! Why, oh why?!"

"And, uh, can you tell me who the President is?"

"What have we done to deserve… okay, okay, yes I can. President Trump lost the recent 2020 presidential election to Democratic nominee Joe Biden, but he has since refused to concede defeat. He has made unsubstantiated accusations of electoral fraud, mounted a series of failed legal challenges to the results, and ordered White House officials not to cooperate in the presidential transition."

"Okay, Mitchell. There, there."

"He'll be fine Cap. Let's transport him."

\---

"Cap, we gotta get the Department to come up with some new questions to assess awareness in head trauma cases. That's the third one this week…"

**Author's Note:**

> Fun note, in my drafts this was labelled as 'President Crack' for a long while. I was very torn about keeping it, or reversing it, for the title!
> 
> Okay, so now - go click on some other fics from [911CrackWeek2020](https://911crackweek.tumblr.com/). Or don't, I'm not your mother.
> 
> You may reblog on [Tumblr](https://toughpaperround.tumblr.com/post/636010569498066944/what-year-is-it/), it's allowed.


End file.
